EPISODE #1   Holy F*cking Now!

 

Mercuretto has arrived from the past in a dingy NYC hotel room in 2018. Finn and Twinkle search for the Chase National Bank, discovering it’s now the Chase Manhattan Bank, where they are delayed after attempting to access their wealth without proper ID.

 

Meanwhile, the rest of Mercuretto has been discovered by the hotel manager, Faith McMunny. After some tension, Faith intuits the band’s good intentions and mysterious origins, and then runs to the aid of Finn and Twinkle.

 

McMunny is subsequently let in on the Band’s true identities and purpose and helps them obtain bank cards / identities. To legitimize their presence in the 21st century, Mercuretto accesses their fortunes and by providence and error, accidentally purchase Atlantic Records (“All I did was press ‘Send’!”) They decide to pose as a band, and pack The Nose off to flute lessons.

 

Meanwhile, alerted by the Aye in the Sky Satellite System (ASSS), the evil Mr. Aye turns to his combat team and, before sending them in, experiences a rare reflective moment: “It’s as I’ve foreseen,” he muses. “Let’s go to work.”    BACK

 

EPISODE #2 / Boyz & Their Toyz

Researching the best musical genre to undertake, Mercuretto discovers the 70s. As headquarters, they purchase a Manhattan high-rise (with buckets of cash). They install a state-of-the-art recording studio in the basement.

 

Meanwhile, Finn attempts to gain access to the inner circles of Wall Street and government, but encounters severe difficulties using Uber and the library system, where card catalogues have been replaced by machines.

 

Simultaneously, The Bash and The Nose, after finding a local pub, have taken up with a manly game of darts—the only issue being they are throwing them at each other, not the board. B.B judges the event, holding up a certain amount of fingers for the best shot. Quietly sitting in a corner, The Saint drinks soda water and prays to The Almighty that nobody wins this contest.   

 

 

EPISODE #3 / Breaking Balls

 

The evil Mr. Aye, through one of his many subsidiary companies, has obtained the security contract for the building owned by Mercuretto Corp. As his boys are setting up the Aye Spy network, Mr. Aye waits in the lobby’s coffee shop and catches a glimpse of BB. “What a dance partner she will make for me,” he whispers. “Soon.”

 

Mercuretto Corp scores its first victory over the 1% when they become major shareholders in the country’s top manufacturers of frozen vegetables. B.B., representing Mercuretto Corp at the 47th annual meeting of The United Federation of Vegans, is subsequently followed and finds herself in hand-to-hand combat with two “Aye” thugs dressed as broccoli. She turns them into salad but narrowly escapes back to headquarters with her life.

  BACK

EPISODE #4 / “Beam Me Back, Scotty!”

 

After the assault on B.B, Mercuretto realizes they must formulate a grand plan to reckon with the powers of evil that they must confront. They order pizza and put on some Barbara Streisand. Moments later, their penthouse office sitting atop Mercuretto Corp. tower is attacked by Aye Copter gunboats.

 

However, having rigged the rooftop with high-force, propelling suction cups, Mercuretto brings those ‘copter bitches down. The Bash, The Nose and B.B spring into action. Mr. Aye, however, manages to escape in the last copter left standing. He shakes his fist, and does a brief dance, before ascending.

 

Afterwards, Mercuretto arrives at the conclusion that they really need a plan.

 

 

EPISODE #5 / Slightly Off-Key or Traitor To Be?

 

Perusing the city’s high-end club scene, Robert Longshanks Cooper has taken control of the venue and is vigorously entertaining the crowd. Now appears Mr. Aye, who tells Cooper that Mercuretto’s plans will never succeed—but that he can protect Cooper from Mercuretto’s  inevitable doom, if he cooperates. On the surface Cooper virulently rejects his offer. However, Mr. Aye looks into Cooper’s brilliant but drunken eyes and detects a weakness. He knows they will speak again.

Back at the Mercuretto Corp. tower, our heroes work vigorously on how to connect a rotary phone directly into one of those computer thingies. BB takes out her frustration with the boys’ ineptitude by kick boxing the Mr. Aye bag (yes, a bag with an eye on it!) in their private gym.

 

 

EPISODE #6 / “How To Suck,” Let Me Count The Ways…

 

While enemy forces have temporarily retreated, Mercuretto decides they must draw fire away from their headquarters. They release their record. They receive one review—in a blog called Katanooga Daily. McMunny, acting as Manager, books them a tour on the C-circuit. Leaving Twinkle, Busty and Faith in charge of the Manhattan ranch, the band departs in a newly purchased vintage 1960s tour bus complete with one Nintendo and two 12-inch televisions.

The tour sucks. One rainy night in Tennessee, however, Charles “Saint” Brown, visiting a chapel for reflection, encounters the mysterious Man In Paisley who claims to be an emissary from those who oppose the 1%’s plans to enslave humanity. He warns Charles that the band is in grave danger. Charles fumbles with his cell phone to contact Mercuretto, but can’t remember how to turn it on. Sensing his anxiety and seeking to comfort him, the Man In Paisley presses a small package of delicious mints into Charles’ hand, then disappears (Poof!).

 

Back in their motel, Sasch ‘The Bash’ Tukatsch heads out alone into the night to find an open dim sum restaurant.  BACK